What is this?
by AlwaysMagic24
Summary: Hermione has been left thinking Ron is dead.  But what will happen when secrets from the past are discovered.  Will she ever be able to figure out what went on between them?  Rated M for possible future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

HPOV

I sighed and smiled as I kissed the forehead of the man in my life, turning I switched off the light and shut the room door. I truly did love him. I made my way down the stairs deep in thought…thinking of the day I had finally got to meet him. He reminded me - and still does - of someone I had been so close to, closer than anyone else had ever been to me. I tried to stop thinking of that…it only causes tears and an overwhelming amount of grief and failure. Sometimes I wish I still had that time turner from third year. I smiled to myself remembering how I fooled Ron and Harry all year.

By this point I had made my way into the kitchen and made some hot chocolate. Call me a child but at 22 I still found it soothing. Walking to the living room I sang to myself. I stopped suddenly.

There was a man standing in front of my fireplace, his tall, broad body outlined by the glow of the fire and the beam of light from outside the window. I reached for my wand, however I was already aware that this man was not an enemy. I flicked on the light with my wand and sent my mug crashing to the ground in utter shock. This could not be. This man had died. He was dead. I seen it. I held him. I watched the life leave his body…but here he was. It couldn't be…"R-Ron?" I asked quietly…too scared that this was true. But his red hair and bright blue eyes told me otherwise.

" 'Mione…I..uh" He looked so uncertain…he was surprised by my reaction. Was I in heaven? Is he an angel? Do angels even exist in the wizarding world…do most wizards even know what an angel is? My mind was racing…I had no idea what to say. "But you died" broke the silence.

"I know. I've been told that everyone thinks that. But, I wasn't actually dead Hermione" he said so sincerely…so simply. _As if this was simple _I scoffed.

"What do you mean? 'I know'?" I shrieked, "what do you mean - 'you weren't really'?". This was not happening. How could he do this? My mind jumped to the boy sleeping upstairs.

"What was that?" Ron asked, his face screwed up in confusion.

"You're not going to answer me?" This was unbelievable, I deserved an answer. I rolled my eyes as my anger grew, arms crossed against my chest.

"I will…once you tell me what you were thinking of a minute ago" Could I? How would he take it? I was sure it wouldn't be great. _But that would be his fault. _I thought of that room up the stairs…the boy sleeping peacefully. My whole world was in that room.

"What is that you're thinking?" Ron asked. I could tell he was getting impatient…wait a minute - _can he read my mind? It couldn't be._ "But it is" he said smoothly.

"Y-y-you can?" I tried to stay calm, "that's impossible"

"Trust me…it's not," he looked down "wish it was."

The silence was strange…uncomfortable. _Strange that I feel uncomfortable around Ron. _I looked up just in time to see him smile. _Get out of my head! _He laughed. Of course. _Idiot_ I thought smugly. I looked back up at him, he hadn't seemed to like that so much. _Oh how the boy upstairs reminds me of him. _Staring at him I saw his eyes change to curiosity, the same look of confusion creeping onto his face. He opened his mouth to speak. I shook my head at him as he said "Tell me what that was"

"No" I was determined.

"Why not?"

I had no reason 'why not.' _Why should I tell you? You left me. You hurt me. _I saw the pain cross his eyes.

"I didn't mean to. I didn't want to," the pain in his voice was undeniable - unbearable "they made me."

"They made you? That's your excuse?" then it hit me "_They?_" Now I was confused. He chuckled, a look crossed his face that I hadn't seen in a while. Obviously something was amusing, but I didn't see it. This situation seemed so serious to me.

"Oh, it is. Its just that look on your face. I was so sure I'd never see it again. I missed it."

He hit a nerve.

"Oh. You missed it did you? You _missed_ it," he still made me as angry as ever "shouldn't've left then. Should you?"

"It wasn't my choice." For the first time, he was angry.

"Yeah you said," I wasn't buying it. _You left me. Just me. Me and the boy. _An image of my boy crossed my mind. His hair, his eyes.

Ron's expression changed entirely. "Who-What…Who was that?" he looked shocked. Confused .

"I-uh-nothing" I stammered. _I don't want you to know...you hurt me._

"Hermione." The tone in his voice was terrifying. He was terrified. He wanted answers. _You won't get them._

"Fine" I didn't realise how close he was to me. "When di-" suddenly I was on the ground and Ron was running up the stairs…I pulled myself up and thundered up after him. "Ron! Stop" I shouted. He was on the landing opening the door to the room I had in my mind. I finally reached him and grabbed his arm, trying - and failing to pull him back. _Since when was he so strong? _But he didn't answer me. I looked back up at him to see that he wasn't paying attention. His face was one of utter shock, betrayal, hurt and confusion. His eyes were fixed on the boy lying in his bed fast asleep. It wasn't possible, Ron thought. Because the boy in front of him looked around four and was surrounded by bright orange walls and blankets, Chudley Cannons posters plastered on the walls. But most importantly, the boy in front of him had flaming red hair and freckles and a nose that looked slightly too big for his face. Ron couldn't move anywhere.


	2. Chapter 2

May 9th 1998

HGPOV

_I really could stay here forever _I thought as I lay on the damp grass in the arms of the man I loved. We had questioned out love earlier on that day as I wondered aloud if we kissed during the battle because we had been through so much together. Ron said I was being uncharacteristically stupid because he had loved me since third year. I ignored the insult. He said he loved me. It was the first time we declared our love to each other.

Now we lay on the grass out side The Burrow. It was as private as things got around here. All of the family, including Harry and myself were staying here. I couldn't face going to Australia yet. I couldn't leave them all after what their family had just bee through. There was no way I could leave Ron here…surrounded by the grief for his fallen brother. Fred. Poor Fred. Harry felt guilty, as if it was his fault. No body blames him. Every night Ron loses sleep over it. Whether it's nightmares where he sees him die again and again or he just stays awake, determined that he won't dream of Fred. The Burrow is so quiet without Fred and George playing pranks. George hasn't even left his room. He hasn't eaten in days.

It's still so hard to believe that the battles over. _The war is done. Voldemort is gone, and Bellatrix will never hurt me again. _I shuddered just thinking her name.

"What's up? Are you cold?" Ron asked me, breaking me out of my daze.

"No, no...it's just-"

"Bellatrix," he said, such anger in his voice. I looked up at him. He looked terrifying, so cold…so...un-Ron like.

"Ron, it's fine. She can't hurt me anymore. Your mum made sure of that." I hoped I sounded surer of myself than I felt.

"I know," he said, but he pulled me even tighter "it was just so horrible, having to hear her torture you. Your screams. And I couldn't do anything."

"You saved me. You and Harry and Dobby. I'm safe now." _Thanks to you._

"Wasn't all me…" he said shyly and smirked. Almost as if he could hear me thinking '_was_' as adamantly as I was.

"But it was you," I stressed, "my hero." and I leaned up on my elbow to kiss his cheek.

"Suuure…" he rolled his eyes but turned to face me. My eyes met his and I could feel my heart starting to beat faster. _Those amazing blue eyes. I hope our kids have those eyes. _Then suddenly I felt his lips on mine, so soft, so gentle. But quickly I wanted more and I deepened the kiss. After everything we had been through, I felt almost desperate. _I can't lose you, I couldn't live._ I felt his desperation too. It equalled mine. _We're too perfect together._ Soon we were gasping for breath. Then our lips were attached again, our kiss deepening by the second. His hands started roaming my back and my hands were tangled in his beautiful red hair. He started to make his way under my jumper. I pulled back. "Sorry...I-" he started.

"It's fine," I was so annoyed at my morality "it's just…ah…we're outside. In your back garden. Anyone could see us." I was turning steadily red.

"Oh, right of course. I thought you pulled away because…you know" now he was turning red. How could he think I didn't want him. I rolled my eyes.

"Ron, I want to. Trust me. But later" I said, kissing his lips briefly and moving to stand. He got up beside me. We walked across the garden hand in hand and made our way into the kitchen. The rest of the day was difficult. After what happened in the garden, I really couldn't wait for night when I would sneak into Ron's room and Harry into Ginny's. I waited as patiently as I could through dinner and was relieved when Ginny said she was going to bed. I excused myself not long after her and made my way to her room. We didn't talk. It was hard to talk to Ginny after the battle. Only Harry knew what to say to her, and he was the only person she would talk to. It upset me slightly because she was my best friend. But I understood. After what felt like three hours Harry apparated into Ginny's room. " Everyone's away to bed. Ron said, and I quote 'tell 'Mione to get her sweet ass up here'…quite the charmer you've got there" he said, smirking to himself. I could only imagine the scenarios he was thinking of. It made me turn a shade that the Weasley's would be proud of.

"Night Harry, don't make too much noise now," and rolling my eyes, I grabbed my wand and apparated to Ron's attic room.

"You took your time," he said, clearly amused.

"Yeah well, Har-" I didn't get to finish what I was saying. Ron's lips were on mine before I could get it out and we carried on from where we left off in the garden. Soon, we were both down to our underwear. I was lying on Ron's bed and he was on top of me.

"You did lock the door, didn't you?" I asked, although I knew what his answer would be.

"Eh…no. I may have forgotten that part" his face turned crimson. He hastily picked up his wand from the table beside us and muttered something at the door. " Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"Yes Ron, for the millionth time, I'm sure. I love you."

"I love you too. So much."

"Ron?"

"Uh huh?"

"Do you have any potion?"

"Potion? Wha-ah no…sorry," he looked thoroughly annoyed with himself "I guess we can't then."

"Its fine, one of us can just do the charm."

After that things got very heated. Our hands were everywhere. I wanted him. _I needed him._

Eventually, we had nothing on and we had explored each other so much, we were about to burst. "Ron" I said.

"Now?"

"Please"

He was nervous about pushing into me, I could feel it. "Ron its fine, I'll tell you if it hurts. I promise."

"Promise?"

"I just did," I rolled my eyes "I love you, Ron"

"I love you, 'Mione."

And with that we were one. But I didn't realise that in the rush of everything, neither one of us had used that charm.


End file.
